=(

no no no no!! =(
this feeling is wrong.. totally wrong
haiz haiz haiz..
why why why?
friend only o?
omg.. wrong feeling la..
should take the chance and make it clear to her!!

down..

wooppss.. is it valentine's day? wow..~ happy valentines..
valentine's day without valentines..
i dun have valentines..
well.. kinda disappointing..
having great hope will lead to severe depression..
im going down now..
i have no idea on wats going on now..
wow.. called the gal.. but she hung up so soon..
credits running out.. okie.. she aint anybody of me..
lol.. asked her whether she is coming to gym..
she said she got sth to do tonight..
oh shit lo.. valentines night.. she got sth to do.. means she got a date..
tat means she got bf liao~ =(
sakit hatinya.. hahaha..
anyway.. my target fail liao.. totally fail..
sad sad sad.. nvm.. havnt fell in deep yet..

noo!!

=( too sad.. i was thinking too much..
she is originally that hyper and sweet..
to everyone.. no exception..
kinda bad news..
aigh..
but nvm.. i tried..
thought i have one step closer..
but this step is a further away.. =(
haiz haiz..
nvm.. forget bout it then..

after CNy

being kinda busy.. and getting a little frustrated as well..
work and work and work..
study and study and study..
new year eve that night was pissed off and worked on the fucking assignment..
stupid partner has stupid opinion and still sticks with his stupid thoughts..
he just knew that he is stupid when the lecturer wants what i insisted initially..
back home 9.30pm eat all the cold food alone on the table.. as my sis and bro in law has finished eating.. okie.. ~ nothing big deal with that..
tried to call back home.. no one picked up.. okie..~ nothing big deal..
till today.. so many assignments are due next week.. to be detailed.. its due tomorrow..
fuck it!
last night party was cool.. many ppl come.. but im frustrated coz i have to work in the fucking cold winter day which is about 40 fahranheit.. my hands got freeze burn.. i risk my life for several fucking dollar bills.. well.. this is not the first time already.. i was wondering i will be paid better this week.. but eventually not.. too much expectations..
watever.. talk bout sth nice.. met and finally know china ppl in my class.. taking the advantage of CNY to get close with them.. opps.. my main target only tat gal la.. haha.. know her name.. walk back to my car together.. but with an extra china boy.. get to know her a little more.. eventually she asked me do i play qq? omg.. sorry no~ then she asked my phone number as a "reason" to know more bout buying cars stuff.. i hope thats an excuse.. well.. feel that she is kinda sweet as she called my name and say hi to me in class on friday although we did not sit really close.. but but but!! i dun have texting package for my phone.. so fail!! zz probably she texted me and wondered why i did not reply.. haha.. just thinking.. btw.. im a fucking dull and working mania now.. no schedule for dating now yet..
CNY party is kinda awesome.. eat too much food till feel vomiting as i was too hungry and sat around the food table for almost an hour non stop eating.. well.. it turns out not that cool as i cant drink and i cant stay up late... coz i have to work the next early morning.. haiz..! my life is such a pity..
well.. many ppl think that.. wah~~ so nice.. you can go usa study.. ur family is so rich.. when they say that.. i can only smile.. coz i will never tell them all my stories.. and they cant understand it as well.. so next time.. if someone has read this post.. please dun say that to me.. coz i feel that ur just a hypocrite ass.. i dun have money.. neither do my family.. but i got hands to make the money.. is the answer cool? u aint have hands to earn the money.. but u got hands to grab money from ur parents.. tats not cool.. alright.. dun wanna bullshit around anymore as no one can understand how terrible my life has ever been undergoing.. solitude ? loneliness? stress? anger? from sch? opps.. stress from sch is just piece of cake.. to me.. those shits ur complaining about everyday.. i can eat it up without doubts..
haiz.. graduation is coming.. that indicates unemployment.. which is not delightful at all. dad and mum want to come.. but they have no intention to stay to help up my sis when she is giving birth.. well.. no complaints.. but.. tat makes me real stressful as i worked so terribly hard for several months.. just to buy their air tickets and expenses.. i paid half of my tuition fees on my own.. its 4000 usd.. rm12000.. wow.. its alot man.. i just knew that.. and the money left.. still have to spend.. work from 8am morning till 11pm night? i did it.. fingers freeze burn.. legs numb.. face chili red.. body overheated.. my friends asked me why so eager for money? need to work like that? well.. for money sake.. but not for myself for my parents.. i aint complaining.. but my better suggestion is to send the money back home.. feeling that is more realistic.. however, the decision still falls on them..
anyway.. i hope i can have my life back after my graduation.. i dun really expect my parents to attend my graduation ceremony.. really.. i just want my normal 22 year old life back..

peyton first day in schooL

wow.. Vibrations- DR Engin..
he repeated his old story.. about how he gets his phd.. about CHINDIA and so on..
Capstone DEsign- Dr Nelson..
he said he is so disappointed with our final project report last sem.. probably he is talking bout my group..
Statistic- Farmer
well.. first time having class in math building i have finally seen some asians.. and quite pretty one o~~ =D wish to know them soon..
World of literature-SIm
thought this class will be easy but it always come out the other way.. =( well.. only 3 men in class.. others are without gugu one.. =( but din see any cantik one.. sad.. many o o de.. =(
hope this sem will be fun.. and all As this time!!!!

@@

tomorrow sch begins..
well.. as usual.. nothing to prepare..
as im always prepared..
coz i dun have any holiday at all..
like used to have when i was young..
no special anxiety or excitement..
today worked overtime..
at the very last minute..
nose bleeding.. wth..
it flows out like running nose..
but its all blood..
wondering its my health problem or environment issue?
huh.. hope it will be nothing..

back?

wow.. its been almost one year that i did not go back in this blog..
SORRY~~ ! +D i guess this blog will forgive me..
i will keep it updated as much as possible if i have the time..
well..~~
too many stuffs happened during this period of time..
and YA.. DO YOu feel Tat I grow up jor?
i change jor? lol!!
well..~~
maybe no one read my blogs but honestly.. 2011 peyton will be totally different from 2010 peyton.. while 2010 peyton was already different from 2009 peyton..
Let me talk bout 2009 peyton..
well beginning of 2009~ i arrived in states.. i locked myself at home.. coz i was so not used to it.. and the laptop is my world.. gaming all day.. feel hungry get some food.. my whole day and night i spent in the house.. guess what.. my weight jumped up to 209 lbs.. tats about 96 kg~!!! tats ridiculous as i dun understand how can that be possible for me to be fat until that "level" .. school started but im alone all the time..
2009 was a big turn of my life.. coz i began to earn money by my own hand.. began to lose weight to what i want.. 2009 i lost my relationship.. 2009 i dropped 20Lbs.. 2009 i earned first 20 usd bills.. 2009 i had my fingers freeze burn.. 2009 i went to disney with bunch of good friends.. 2009 i went to atlanta and ate bunch of food with frens..so many first times during 2009 that i couldnt say it clear here..
2010 peyton is another awesome year.. because its another step of peyton' s mutation..
Well..~~
first time in sch met a group of friends that studied together all the time.. doing labs together.. even in the same group of senior projects as well.. first time went out having meal with them together.. first time spent thousands to buy air ticket.. first time back malaysia.. first time went to australia.. first time cut mohawk head.. first time had super great fun and know lots of ppl including gals in the club.. first time walked atlanta airport 5 times around.. first time overnight in the airport.. first time i had the internship in an engineering construction firm.. first time i was insulted by a black homeland security guard whether i do know physics.. first time i had three arguments with blacks.. first time i had great internship in states that provided lunch everyday.. first time i visited a chemical plant.. first time i met and communicated with so many americans and germans.. first time i earned over fifteen hundreds a month.. first time i do my oil change myself.. and many many more..~~ well a lot of unhappiness in 2010 that really mess my life up and i dont wanna state any of them here..
2011 peyton.. will be a new peyton that stepped into the real society.. because he is going to graduate.. woo hoo.. but kinda worry.. coz.. graduation seems to be more like unemployment.. it should be graceful as graduation is approaching.. if i have the job offer.. btw.. i hope i will get a job within three months after graduation.. next target is to go for master.. hope i can get TA or RA position that partial tuition fees will be funded.. coz my parents had no money for my further study..
the coming semester.. will be another tough sem.. because i have to wake up at 7.. and back home at night about 10pm.. everyday.. hope i can get through this.. coz i have already done this last fall.. good luck peyton!
well.. i have to set my new new target for the rest of my year.. and will post it right here!!!
keep it up.. PeyTON~!