ehem.. weird that i have a new post huh?

new post.. dam it..
new post means new situation..
new situation means new problem..
no problem.. no update.. its easy..
i just wanna come up here and try to curse and shoot some dam a** people and f**king sh*t I am eating right now!
well? where should i start? hmm.. okay.. lets flash back to my Chicago trip..
wow..! chicago trip? awesome.. not only chicago.. going to Des Moines Iowa..
tats the most awesome and memorable trip.. guess what? I went to paradise of the men - lumberyard.. if you dunno what it is.. google search it urself.. lol! thanks to jack.. knew you are a hamsap kia.. hahaha..
next stop is University of Illinois Champaign.. f**k.. i wanna transfer to that school.. Tats another paradise for Malaysian students that desire for girlfriends!! lolx.. because!! there are so many korean girls over there.. and i can guarantee that 90% of them are leng loi!!.. no kidding..
I was drooling when i saw some of them over there..!! @@
chicago trip is awesome too because the night view is extraordinary pretty.. romantic.. it will definitely be one of the place to go with girlfriends or honeymoon.. Navy Pier.. check the night view of the city.. lake michigan.. I fall in love with it.. dun even you? oh ya.. another story.. lol..!! its related to korean girls again.. we went to willis tower for a tour.. we played around and took pictures on the glass floor.. we noticed some cute korean girls and tried to get close to them.. Funny thing is.. we tried to take picture of each other and they also fit into the picture and in the end we are taking picture of each other.. Malaysian Boys vs Korean girls.. lol! funny.. any way.. should take the advantage to go ahead and talk to them.. but in the end.. we had no balls.. lol!

after talking bout happy stuffs.. now its turn to talk bout the shits..! well.. !! i finally have my offer letter.. wow! sounds like a astonishing good news.. but fuck it..! I have a copy of my offer letter.. then my boss wants me to sign it and bring to HR.. then when i arrive at HR there.. tat fucking old wicked HR lady says.. no.. tats not official.. will print you another color official one.. Please fill these documents up for background check and employment form.. IM like okay! sounds good.. She said Im busy I got somebody here after filling up all these and just give it to the assistant.. I also said OK.. no problem.. I thought everything went smoothly.. after one week.. No answer from HR.. my boss sent an email to me.. he asked me was I ready to sign the letter? I said.. I am totally ready.. the HR told me that she will print me another copy.. HR will inform me the next schedule of medical check.. I forwarded this to that HR.. She had no responses.. OKAY FINE!! I did not expect her to respond.. the NExt week.. NO response again! my current boss asked me whether I will be signing the letter this month. I said ya.. Tat HR said she will prepare another official one for me to sign.. I said this very gently without trying to say that SHE IS DELAYING THE PROCESS!.. Then I SENT HER ANOTHER EMAIL..!! VERY GENTLY AGAIN.. FOllow-up about the hiring process.. let me know what is the status..!! one week later.. no response.. I am totally on fire ady.. this HR.. This morning I went to her office and saw her.. ASK HER HOW IS THE PROCESS GOING ON?? she said.. right now Im waiting the response from Singapore Company.. They are confirming the offer letter.. I DID NOT THINK MUCH.. BUT NOW WHEN I THINK BACK..!! SHE IS KINDA LYING!! My BOSS Had everything approved by the project managers before issuing me this position..! NOW MY BOSS IS NOT HERE.. SO I CANT DO ANything..!! WHEN He is back.. I will talk to him and confirm what she says is true or not!!! dam it!! It makes me worry now if i can get it or not.. jibai!!! lanjiao!! Kaninabu chaojibu! pu bo!
huh.. feel better after cursing! anyway.. see what's next..
I need to be more intellectual.. more brilliant.. sharper.. I want to show them how good Malaysian kid is..

holiday = unemployed

wow.. it has been a week after my graduation..
cannot work..
feel so bored..
rush for visa stuffs.. working authorization shits..
haiz.. what i can do is only to wait..
this is really bullshit.. because the HR told me one thing..
the school official told me the other thing..
they totally confused me.. and i have to figure out everything myself..
then wats the point of asking them to help me?
this week..
i always come to help this one and help that one..
well.. not i volunteer..
they request..
wat can i do? since im the only one who is free..
im not a savior here.. so dun expect me to help too much..
i hate ppl that are so po po ma ma.. very idiotic.. just like a woman..
and i hate ppl that dont listen to what i say..
haiz..
well.. i hope after this, he wont ask help from me anymore..
coz i really scare of him now..
especially when he talks..
just like a woman..
scary!!
NExt week off for chicago.. hope it will be a good trip!..

success?

i guess im in the middle of success?
got job offer.. very nice job.. very nice salary..
send me to singapore in next three yearswhere i wanna stay..
offer me master degree as well.. everything is so nice..
but i havnt got the offer letter.. everything seems to be in my plan.. which seems so weird..
however, besides my family that feel proud.. who else that will share this honor with me?
feeling that although i have the honor.. i feel so lonely.. because i have nobody to share with..
who is the one that is gonna accompany me til my last day on earth?
looking backward.. found out that im kinda lonely.. throughout these few years in United states..
money ? is what im seeking all time since i come here..
i dun feel like growing up now.. i dunno why.. one reason is im still young? 22 only..
but everyone thinks that im 25 or 26.. coz i never think or act like 22..
that seems that im an abnormal now..
haiz haiz..
now i just want to be normal..
dun want to be special..

finally we have some progress in the capstone design..
started presentation power point.. started poster design..
hmm.. but i feel like i din do anything at all..
gonna start the drawings..
vibration project is following up as well..
controls project as well..
cad cam project as well..
world lit project as well..
and 3 finals.. 3 weeks can i finish so many stuffs??
matlab codes for vibration..
solidworks drawing for capstone..
gonna stay up late night for few weeks..
good luck mr peyton..
and job and master stuffs!
hope will get some good news..!

a 22 year old guy is going to graduate from his bachelor..
it sounds like normal in Malaysia huh?
but it is not in United states..
Coming out from school at this young age..
you wont be able to get any jobs..
full of ambition.. to be different from others..
I make it.. a 22 year old guy that is going to work in a Global company in top 100..
it sounds like im so superior now..
but why.. i have a feeling to be a common man..
i dun wanna be special anymore..
coz im tired of those shits? hypocrite?
maybe.. special person will be lonely forever..
no much true friends and no true lover..
thats it..

i dun feel like who i used to be..
i become so money face..
i become so money oriented..
i become so meaningless..
i become so emotionless..

i dun like who i am now..
coz when i think of the past..
i changed into another person..
that i cant really recognize..
i live in a life on my own..
solitude.. loneliness and monologues..
when.. can i walk out this me?
and become a better one?
no one knows..

one decision in my life

im in super tough condition right now..
super hard and tough decision to make..
at first i have made up my mind to take scholarship..
and go for the master degree..
and work as research assistant..
now i got a job offer..
but i will be sent to Singapore in the end of 2013..
that means i will settle down in Singapore after that..
well.. it has been one of my consideration since i come here to study..
the problem is with my master degree..
hard decision..
if i take the job offer..
i might not be able to finish master before i go back singapore..
another option is to just work and go back singapore then begin my master when im in singapore..
another option is to take scholarship.. finish master and go back work again..
no matter what.. the option to take the job offer and finish master at the same time is the best..
but i dunno i can do it or not..
and.. after knowing im going back Singapore..
someone has totally contaminated my mind.. coz she keeps on appearing in my mind..
hmm.. i seriously missed someone right now.. who is thousands miles away from me..